AFFECT THE KIDS?

In the decade when love was all around,

And everything you did was done for me.

When Whitney sang that she would always love you,

It didn’t matter that we came from different worlds;

It seemed like our love would conquer all.

Just don’t do anything to affect the kids.”

 

You were on one knee when you asked,

And said “I’d do anything for you my love.”

Without hesitation I said “I do.”

Then you sowed your seeds and that’s a fact,

And left me to nurture the growing bundles.

Just don’t do anything to affect the kids.”

 

You provided for and paraded me,

Another ticked box in your ‘to do’ list.

I thought that we would be a dream team,

But it was never quite a partnership of equals.

Still I was willing to be there until the end

Just don’t do anything to affect the kids.”

 

Marriage is like life in an earthquake zone,

It’s not a good idea to dwell on faults.

But you didn’t dwell on anything at home;

Always off to meetings and junkets,

Whilst assuming I’d play the housewife.

Just don’t do anything to affect the kids.”

 

You really thought you could control me;

While I wanted to be your equal.

We could have had it all, heart and soul,

But in the end the choice was easy,

Oh it was so blindingly clear to see.

Just don’t do anything to affect the kids.”

 

Then GaGa took us all to the edge,

I couldn’t see any hope or glory;

I just couldn’t face another put down.

When talk of separation was finally voiced

You didn’t want to part and warned me plainly,

Just don’t do anything to affect the kids.”

 

Just what kind of father are you?

As a mother I will always aim

To affect our kids as positively as I can.

Oh baby you were like a firework,

But then the blue touchpaper was lit.

Just don’t do anything to affect the kids.”

 

Seems that everybody has a price,

But I just wanted some sleep at night.

So now we live our separate lives,

No doubt to meet again in court.

It may be too late for us; but for once just please,

Try and affect the kids in a positive way.”

 

And then a year passed and eased the hurt,

You cut me off and made me feel like dirt.

You were then just somebody that I used to know!

Look to the future,

You’ve made it so lie in it.

Everything I do is done for the kids!”

 

A few more years on and it’s Paloma’s turn to sing

Only love can hurt like this.

Frustration got the better of you,

And you turned on them,

Whatever happened to your exhortation,

Just don’t do anything to affect the kids?”

 

 

(inspired among other things by a number of chart hits:

  • Wet Wet Wet / Love Is All Around 1995

  • Bryan Adams / (Everything I Do) I Do It For You – 1991

  • Whitney Houston / I Will Always Love You – 1992

  • Meatloaf / I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That) – 1993

  • Adele / Rolling In The Deep – 2010

  • Lady GaGa / Edge Of Glory – 2011

  • Katy Perry / Firework – 2010

  • Jessie J / Price Tag – 2011

  • Gotye / Somebody That I Used To Know – 2011

  • Paloma Faith / Only Love Can Hurt Like This – 2014)

 

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